Hohonzollern, Texas

Hohonzollern is a small town in the Texas Hill Country which was settled by Anglos and Germans around the time the Republic of Texas was founded. This was typical for many towns in the southeastern part of the hill country around Austin.  The people here love to have a large religious observation every December. Unfortunately, these people are too hopelessly mated to old fashioned ideals of "work ethic", "morals", "church", and "family" to move forward with progressive thinking. I was shocked to see a gigantic beautiful red and green glitter banner stretching across the street when I pulled into town. These square-heads are too dumb to realize you can alienate people with such an politically incorrect phrase. Even Happy Holidays is no longer accepted by forward thinking minds. The new correct phrase is "Celebrate Winter"

Outside of the banner, the town featured a typical German Icon. You can find these in many homes. These are OK because they are science based. The candles create an updraft of heat which makes the blades spin. I'm not sure what its called but it is something like Flingerschizzle.

Oh, Tannenbaum.  O fir tree. O Christmas Tree. The Germans get credit for the song and the tradition. (Click on any picture to enlarge). There is another tradition and that is putting gifts under the tree and the best tradition involves gifts with my name written on the outside of the package.

Things got very exciting right before lunch. A large tour bus pulled up and about 40 people got out screaming about paganism and carrying signs. I asked the bus driver who they were and he said the California Atheist Society. When I asked if they were upset and why, he explained that they did not like nativity scenes tainting any Winter Celebration. He said they would protest and sue until the town removed it. Then things really heated up when the sheriff showed up.

I thought the guy in the corner was a figurine of Balthazar but when the Sheriff showed up, it turned out to be a guy just crouched down in the manger with a jug. He ran down the street just as the Sheriff told the crowd to leave. The crowd refused to leave until the nativity scene was dismantled. The Sheriff said they had five minutes to get beyond the city limit signs and anyone left would be "bonked" on the head and thrown into an oven like"Der Gingerbread Man". Like I say, I really think the Krauts have a problem with Political Correctness. They all got on the bus except for one lady who had an annoyingly shrill voice. She called the Sheriff a pig and spit in his face and suddenly she DID get bonked on the head with something similar to a nightstick. It must have really hurt and it reminded me of the sound when someone thumps a melon. I say it must have hurt because the woman cried big crocodile tears and her mascara ran everywhere. I could not help but think she looked like someone off a Zombie Farm with her makeup everywhere.

By the Way. Don't buy Chinese made toys. They might be tainted with lead or zombie powder or such. Also, I hope everyone has a Joyous and Merry Christmas this year.